All is Calm? Three Tips to Having Peace in Your Home This Christmas

It’s the holiday season and while we may all be dreaming of silent nights full of hot chocolate, Christmas crooners and peace on earth, you may just be wishing for a peaceful family holiday. Celebrating the holidays with extended family, in-laws or even estranged family members can be hard. Different personalities, traditions and past events may have you feeling a bit skittish when it comes time to gather around as a family. Or maybe you’re a parent that’s overwhelmed with the expectations and pressure of making this time of year magical for your kids. While Christmas can be special and full of light and love, it can also be painful for a lot of people, which is why I have three tips for you to have peace in your home this Christmas.

Tip #1: Acknowledge Your Feelings

Whatever you’re feeling this Christmas, just feel it. Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and then move forward. You can’t move past negative emotions if you don’t acknowledge them, but you can’t stay stuck in them either. A lot of us take the approach that if we just stay busy enough, we won’t be bothered by that family member that always criticizes us under the guise of trying to be helpful. Or maybe you try to feel like a kid again and get lost in the traditions and activities to ignore the fact that you’re lonely. Whatever you’re feeling this Christmas, take some time alone or with a trusted loved one and just give yourself the freedom to feel it. Write it out, cry it out, talk it out - just get it out in a healthy way and then give yourself permission to relax and be present this Christmas. When you deal with your feelings, you can start to have perspective and peace and enjoy the moment without your mind and heart being torn in different directions.

Tip #2: Know Your Limits

One of the many reasons that a lot of us feel stressed at Christmas is that we try to do too much. Baking and decorating sugar cookies, attending parties all month, looking at Christmas lights, visiting family, working, shopping – the list goes on and on. Where we get overwhelmed is when we try to do it all. You may be blessed to be part of several friend groups hosting White Elephant parties, but your budget may only have room for one Secret Santa this year. Instead of going into debt or missing out, get creative and make homemade gifts. If your job requires extra hours this time of year, don’t overextend yourself in the evenings. Protect that time and plan just one event a week, like looking at Christmas lights after work or watching a Christmas movie. When you know your limits, you spend less time feeling like you’re letting yourself and others down and more time enjoying the present.

Tip #3: Manage Your Expectations

Manage your expectations for the holiday. I know, I know, but hear me out. Life is all about balance. No one ever has the movie-perfect Christmas where they find the love of their life, work 80 hours a week, cook homemade meals, find the perfect gifts and have time for growth and self-reflection. So let’s throw that idea right out the window. Most likely, your Christmas will be filled with moments of joy and excitement, maybe some sadness for loved ones who are no longer here, stress, loneliness and exhaustion. Those moments we’d like to skip over are even worse when we expect the perfect Christmas and assume that everyone we see on social media is having a peaceful, stress-free holiday. Expect that there are probably going to be less-than-stellar moments, but don’t let them take you out of the game. When you manage your expectations of what a merry Christmas looks like for you, you can embrace peace and find more joy.

Christmas is what you make it. It’s about celebrating the greatest gift we’ve ever received – Jesus, the Savior of the world – and coming together with family and friends to celebrate the year. Prioritize what’s important to you and don’t try to fit it all in or make things harder on yourself. Embrace peace in your home this Christmas.