How can you be Second in the midst of grief? Is it really even possible? We all experience it. Maybe you grieved over a loss of a friend, a family member or over a personal battle. Maybe you’re living through the pain on your own. Is there really any hope? For Denny Slaton, grief stormed into her life taking her for a spin of a lifetime. What she anticipated as a regular check-up at the doctor’s office spun out of her control.
To Denny, grief is, “experiencing the death of a dream, a hope, what you thought life was ‘supposed to look like.’” How can you be Second when the world crumbles beneath your feet? Who knew those two simple words could mean death-- the death of dreams, of plans, or expectations. Is there life after death? Lets read on to hear about the power Denny found in the death of her world.
Reality came crashing down when Denny met another patient with Breast Cancer, wearing a hat. “She wore a hat because she had no hair from chemo, and she offered to show me her reconstructive work. I cried when I saw her.”
Denny recalls, “This was the death of what I thought my life was-- I was healthy, and had never missed a day of work for illness, but now [I] was faced with being in and out of the hospital for multiple surgeries. I think it was the death of my self sufficiency. There was absolutely nothing I could do to fix this on my own. I had to lay [down] my idea of what life was to look like.” Denny struggled with the thought of of her children losing their mom, especially having just gone through a divorce three years before. Denny had fears and questions.
Can you relate with Denny? How do we juggle a life of Second and grief? Denny fought this battle with grief daily, reminding herself to keep her focus on being Second. She found peace and hope, remembering who was first.
Her advice to us today is to trust in Him who is first. Be real about your feelings with people you can trust. It is not about, “trying to ‘gut it up’ and be strong enough”. Remember, “the circumstances are not about [you], but about Him.” That is what it means to be Second.
How have you dealt with grief? What advice would give others going through their breast cancer journey?