The Lifeguard of Our Souls

“Really, God? Me?”

I asked this question out loud, squinting up at the sun-soaked Texas sky as I wiped the sweat from my brow. It was Father’s Day weekend of 2021 and I was doing yard work in the front of my house, trying to distract myself from yet another battle with self-loathing, despair and hopelessness.

After battling heavy alcoholism for over 10 years, I had more than five months of sobriety under my belt at this point (a first for me as an adult). I was facing emotions I had stifled for so long — and they seemed like more than I could handle.

Yes, I was sober, but things weren’t getting better. The storms in my life weren’t subsiding. I was slowly sinking under wave after wave of negative emotion, and it was too much.

I was ready to end it all.

In fact, I had already started writing the note I would leave behind and deciding which bottle of pills I’d purchase. I just wanted to be in heaven, away from the pain of this life, the loneliness and the disappointing choices I had made.

I didn’t expect a message from God in that moment, much less a life-changing experience. But He gave me both. He told me that my hurts would be used to help others. He reframed my past in an instant, revealing my purpose and showing me that I wasn’t alone.

I finally gained what I never knew I needed: perspective.

This scene was immediately brought to mind as I watched our film about DJ Hernandez, a college student at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA. While DJ’s near-drowning experience was much more literal than mine, Jesus showed up in both of our situations when we needed Him most. He reached down and grabbed our sinking hands.

Like DJ, I’ve felt intense loneliness in my life, even when I’ve been surrounded by people. This goes to show that whether you’re on a college campus, at home with family or even with other believers at church, it’s easy to feel isolated and like no one cares.

But God is always there, whether you feel His presence or not.

He’s just waiting for you to turn to Him.

This is the message more and more of us need to hear and DJ’s story is an excellent example of how God uses our pain for a purpose.

Loneliness has been a pandemic ever since COVID-19 shut down our country in 2020, and many of us haven’t even come close to recovering from the mental consequences related to the shutdowns and quarantines.

Teenagers and young adults, in particular, have been hit hard by mental health issues.

According to this The Mental Health Crisis on College Campuses article, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts among college students have never been higher.

Many of us are struggling. But the good news is that there is hope for all our circumstances. We are not alone in our brokenness. We have God — who alone can put us back together again — but we also have community, which He created for a reason.

Our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ give us friendship. They give us accountability. They give us what we need most during trials: encouragement.

DJ quoted Proverbs 18:1, which says that “whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”

It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when we’re focused on ourselves. We numb the pain with chemical substances, social media, money, relationships and other temporary solutions. But none of these ultimately satisfy.

The more we turn our eyes upward, however, the easier it is to gain a heavenly perspective.

If you’re facing loneliness today, I encourage you to give DJ’s story a listen. Open your heart to God. Keep seeking Him, pursue healthy relationships and know that there is an amazing plan for your life.