Why does God allow brokenness?
It’s a question I struggled with for decades. Even though I grew up in a Christian home and was saved at an early age, I experienced countless small hurts during my childhood that would add up to create a big wound in my life.
Bullies pummeled my back with their fists and created their own name for me. Family members flipped me off, tried to change me and shot me down. Friends betrayed me, spread lies about my character and left me in times of need. Peers made fun of my physical appearance and sang songs about my body.
It was “death by a thousand cuts.” Only instead of a physical death, it was the demise of a belief that God had a plan for me — and rejection was the knife that did the deed.
As an adult, I medicated this wound with alcohol, drugs and other addictions. But all of these were merely tools I used to temporarily bandage that giant wound of rejection.
Of course, these vices only made things worse, leading to more and more sin as I created distance between myself and God. I eventually felt too broken for him to use.
Why would God want something like this to happen to one of his children?
Maybe it’s because he wants to show us that we can’t handle this life by ourselves. Or, maybe it’s because he wants to break down an area of our lives so that he can build something better in its place. Or, he might want to use our brokenness to help make someone else whole.
Regardless of the reason, God has shown time and time again that he can use people at their worst. When situations seem hopeless, when people seem too far gone… that’s when he shows up and uses us.
God gave us a lot of examples of this in the Bible as well.
Jonah questioned God’s instructions for the city of Nineveh, ran away from his calling and even got mad when God showed compassion. He even wished he was dead. God used Jonah despite his disobedience.
Gideon was the lowest family member in the weakest tribe of Israel. Even after an angel appeared to him, he asked for multiple signs before he believed God’s plan. God used Gideon despite his unbelief.
Peter, one of the most famous apostles and someone who literally walked with Jesus, denied that he knew our Savior three times, despite being told about it ahead of time. God used him despite his future mistakes.
Paul killed and imprisoned Christians and even held the coats of those who stoned Stephen, yet is responsible for writing most of the New Testament. God used him despite his past.
No one is too far gone for God. Using my life as an example again, God called me to help others who struggled with the same feelings of rejection, mental health struggles and addictions that I fought for so long.
But he didn’t reveal his plan and allow breakthrough in my life until I was 34 years old. He has his timing and it is perfect, even if it doesn’t make sense in the moment.
And when you’ve persevered through difficult times, it makes the better times so much more beautiful. That’s why God allows brokenness to happen.
The next time you’re facing a struggle or dealing with a hurt, I encourage you to ask God what he is trying to teach you rather than why he is allowing it to happen.
You are never too far gone for God’s redemption.